TopGear x Maserati x AA

Maserati has loaned TopGear an MC20 for a few weeks. We're always looking for curly feature ideas to do with long termers, and the 620bhp supercar is ripe for treatment. There's only so many stories you can do about "what's it like to daily a supercar?" or "what's a supercar like on track?" and to be frank people aren't that interested in reading generic stories. So you have to think more laterally.

Doesn't have to be complicated though. The MC20 is painted a rich yellow called Giallo Genio. I'm on the blower with my colleague Ollie Kew one morning and we're talking about it, when it strikes me it's a very similar shade to the one worn by AA vans (American readers, it's stands for Automobile Association, a breakdown and recovery service). Five minutes later we're on the phone to the AA: "we've had this idea..."

Before that we did flesh it out - every idea needs finessing. So yes, we can create a fast response vehicle for the AA by adding a livery and some flashing lights. But where would that be helpful? Well, in remote places where their vans tend to be further away from breakdowns. Scotland then. Which also happens to be rather beautiful. There's also a little bit of delicious irony involved in this too. After all, Maserati doesn't enjoy the best reputation for reliability...

The AA buys in. They agree to let us spend a couple of days with one of their star patrols, Dominic Carroll, and he's happy, because the AA fast track him into a brand new van. They also introduce me to Ashley Gloyn. His company, Fleet Livery Solutions, has the contract to do the livery on all AA vans, and he agrees to take on a Maserati-shaped challenge. Which he does in a layby in Ballachulish on a bitterly chill February morning. Cold body panels and decals are not a happy mix.

Spending a day with an AA patrolman is fascinating. There are the great tidbits we all know and expect, "Honda Jazz. Flat batteries, flat tyres, that’s it on those. I’ve never had a callout for a Honda engine. I know a couple of patrols who are ex-Honda techs and we tease them that they’ve never served apprenticeships because all they’ve done are brakes and servicing". And "McLarens. Seen a few of those. Always electrics." Most regular call out? "Probably Fiat 500s. We actually carry a gear selector repair kit for this specific issue as we do this repair pretty much all the time. People think they’ve got a clutch issue on their 500, but it’s actually the gear selector’s ball connector."

Naturally our first call out is for a Land Rover. Having worked out the Maserati's load space is not even going to fit a space saver, I resort to putting a battery jump start pack in the passenger footwell and head off. My role, I work out almost instantly when I get to the beleaguered Disco, is to dispatch tea and sympathy until the cavalry gets there. Trouble is I left the tea thermos back at the hotel.

Dom reckons 80 per cent of issues are fixable at the roadside, and so it proves here with the Disco having a dodgy alternator. The day progresses. There's a Merc with a flat tyre and not much else, so we have time to shoot the breeze. Dom gives me a tour of his van, pointing out the immediate areas where the Maserati falls flat. “We have to have cross cab access plus a sliding door on the safe side.”

I look at the MC20 and picture clambering across the transmission tunnel and out through the upwards opening door on my hands and knees – not an image of competence and capability. “I tend to leave the van out a bit so it protects me working around the car in front. On motorways we have to leave 18 metres of clearance between van and customer car – that’s called the crush zone for obvious reasons.”

The AA does prioritise cases based on location, gender, age, weather conditions, danger and so on, and yes, as a few of us have found to our frustration, it does have to send a regular patrol to assess a case first even if you've told them there's a hole in the engine block. Ask me how I know. Anyway, there's a reason for that: sometimes punters are economical with the truth. “I once had a callout where a customer had told us his car was suffering a fuel cutoff issue and when I got there, there was fire, police, ambulance and the car was upside down in the middle of a field. The fuel cutoff wasn’t the only issue there, was it?”